Being a big sister has got to be hard, and Hallie is really such a good sport about it. I can tell when the double standard is getting to her, though, because she’ll start announcing that she’s a baby (or a toddler) and acting like one. It’s such a clear way of saying, “Hey, I want some of the attention you’re giving Travis so I’m going to do what he does and see if that works.”
We try really hard to give them equal attention, with Hallie getting it for the big-girl things she does. But she’s content to read to herself and play with her dolls so much of the time. With Travis being so much more active–and so much more likely to hurt himself if left unsupervised–I’m often leaving Hallie mid-story or mid-playacting to chase T down. And I’m reluctant to get out the art supplies and messy things that she likes so well because I know Travis will want them, too, and whine when he doesn’t get them.
And think about it from her perspective. Travis gets laughs when he blows bubbles at the table or hurls his cup to the floor. Hallie gets reprimanded. He gets chuckles when he plays games with his tongue or shows you his mouthful of food. She gets reprimanded. He puts things in his mouth, leaves toys everywhere, gets crackers if he whines in the car, and doesn’t get pressured to eat certain things at mealtime.
I had a few really good conversations with Hallie recently where I made sure she realized that I understand how things must look to her. That’s seemed to help. And I’m trying to make a big deal of the things she gets to do that T doesn’t. She was pleased as punch with herself for getting to help paint this weekend. And of course, Travis didn’t get to. So far that’s seemed to make a difference. And she’s never seemed enormously upset by it. But I want to make sure she’s proud of all the things she does and that she never feels like she’s not getting attention for them!
We had another naptime success today. We were running a bit later than I like, but since T had snoozed some in the car this morning I knew an early nap wasn’t likely. I nursed him and then read to him for about 30 minutes. He wasn’t acting remotely sleepy. So I warned him that we’d have two more books and then he was going to bed.
He complained for a moment or two when I put him in, but not too seriously. I’d left the door ajar so I could peek at him. I was able to see him on his side turning the pages of his book. And shortly after he was quiet. Hurray!
He’s been a light sleeper the last few naps. I think he’s starting to talk in his sleep. I’ll hear a shout or some murmurs and chatter and think he’s waking up. But then all will get quiet again. Except for right now, when I think he’s actually awake. I’m trying not to let him sleep past 4:30 or 4:45 anyway, since that seems to make bedtime tough. It’s hard to go wake him up on days when he’s gone down late, since that’s my time to get things done. But I think it pays off later in the day.
Travis is also really into copying things. His favorite thing is to pretend he’s on the phone. He’ll hold the cordless phone up to his neck and march around shouting. If you sit down with him, he’ll hold the phone up for you to talk and then take it back and start shouting again. He also uses the shower head on Hallie’s play nursery table as a phone. More than once I’ve heard shouting and run to see what’s wrong, only to find him standing there “on the phone.”
T also likes to pretend he’s feeding us. He’ll carry a spoon over and stick in in our mouths. Or he’ll offer a sip from his cup. He’s a bit fickle, though. Most of the time anything he offers is withdrawn before you can reach out to accept it. He doesn’t quite have all the components of this sharing thing down yet.
Travis has entered the climbing stage. He LOVES chairs and gets pleased as punch with himself when he gets in Hallie’s old booster seat on the floor or when he climbs in the little wood chair that’s part of Gum’s old set.
He knows how to climb in and turn around to put his bottom in it. He’s just as likely, though, to climb up and stand in it. And he climbed all the way on top of a computer monitor on the floor of the den the other day. He’s great at the stairs, too. Though yesterday I hadn’t put the gate up and when I turned my back for a moment he was 6 steps up! Yikes! So much for feeling like he is safe if he’s in the playroom (or anywhere) unsupervised for a moment or two. Now I never know what he’ll be on top of!
Travis learned the baby sign for flower yesterday. I’ve shown it to him a few times but not all that many. His “Happy Baby Colors” book has two spreads with flowers on them. When we turn to those pages he’ll lunge forward and take a big sniff (not always on the actual flower, but close enough) and then look at me with a huge grin. He did it to a block with a flower on it this afternoon, too.
The fact that we haven’t really been pushing this sign makes me realize how much he’s taking in and how much more I need to be teaching him. There are so many things we’ll ask him to do now and it’s clear he understands it all. He doesn’t always do it (as in “Stop standing in that chair!”), but he knows what we mean.
Today I had an early morning appointment. I decided it would be easier for the kids if I snuck out before they woke.
A short while later, I got a call from Kelly. Hallie missed her Daddy and wanted to say hello.
“I wanted to see my Daddy but I didn’t wake up in time,” she told me. “I wanted to eat breakfast with you.”
I almost cried on the phone. “Thank you, Hallie. I miss you, too! I’ll see you tonight, though!” I told her.
The call was brief, but it couldn’t have been any sweeter.
It’s such an eye-opener to see something through the eyes of a three-year-old! I’ve been reading a short illustrated chapter book called “More Tales of Oliver Pig” (or something like that) with Hallie since our last library visit. On one page is a picture of a pig wearing an old-fashioned wig with the sausage-like curls. The first time I turned to that page, Hallie pointed to the picture and announced matter-of-factly, “Those are dirty sewer pipes!”
Now it’s true Hallie’s been fascinated by plumbing for quite some time. But I’m not sure I’ll ever know how she worked out in her mind that it made sense for a pig to be wearing dirty sewer pipes on his head. Whatever the logic, it worked in Hallie’s world.
We had a terrific Thanksgiving Day. We started with a walk in the nature park and some time at the playground. After naps, we headed to the Turners’ where all 20(!) of us had a great time. Hallie LOVED all the time with her cousins. She was a grouch waking up from her nap, but the minute we walked in the door over there she lit up and never stopped.
Travis enjoyed marching all around and was happy being in the thick of things. He needed pretty constant supervision, but we managed to tag-team him pretty well.
I just kept thinking how far we’ve come since last Thanksgiving. At that point T was only 5 weeks old. He had a cold, I had bronchitis, no one was sleeping, nursing was a challenge–and being requested constantly. We’re sure in a much better place a year later, and loving every minute of it!
I hit a new milestone with Travis today. It was the first time I put him to sleep with no tears and no nursing! I’ve been trying to do this for weeks with no success. I’ve always either given in and nursed him to sleep or I’ve put him in bed and he’s wailed until I’ve settled him again. But today everything clicked.
I knew he was tired, so that helped. And I did nurse him, but he was wide awake afterwards. I finally was able to replicate Mark’s success with reading several books and then having him just relax against me and go quietly into his crib. It was a beautiful thing!
We’ve found a new passion of Travis’s. Apparently he loves the mail truck! We were playing outside yesterday when the mailman came by. Travis saw the truck and started chasing it down the sidewalk, frantically doing the “more” sign. He got really upset when he couldn’t catch it and it disappeared around the bend.
We had a repeat performance when it came back to do the other side of the street. He’s seen the garbage and recycling trucks many times. He gets excited about them but nothing like this. We’ll have to start hanging out out front before lunchtime so he can get his daily fix!
