Hallie and Travis

Our honeymoon of a few days ago ended abruptly. The last couple of days, Hallie’s had tantrums or meltdowns several times a day. They tend to be over very little things, or over her wanting me to do something and us insisting that Mark be the one to do it. (The latter is a long story in itself that I know I’ve written about before. We’ve made definite progress, but you never quite know which Hallie you’re going to be dealing with until it’s too late.)

Tonight Hallie had a fit because when she asked me to stick my fingers out from underneath the bathroom door she didn’t get to touch them before I pulled them back in. When I wouldn’t do it again (I was already in the process of washing my hands), she completely lost it, wailing that she NEEDED me to do it again, etc. etc.

I’ve been explaining that when she makes demands, and especially when she gets hysterical, she’s just guaranteeing that she won’t get what she’s asking for. We had another episode at bedtime, this time over a book she decided she wanted to read only after Mark took it to read with Travis, that was defused much more quickly. It seemed like some of the lesson was sinking in. We’ll see what tomorrow brings.

But about those growing pains. . . There are four little girls within five houses of ours. None is a perfect match in either age or temperment for Hallie. They are all older, though one by just a few weeks. It’s hard on Hallie to see some of them charging around, doing their own things. Sometimes all of the girls will play together beautifully. But often the three older ones will ignore Hallie as they tear around. Or one of them will come looking for her to play when the others can’t be found and then when someone else shows up, Hallie’s left out.

This afternoon Hallie got tired of yard work and wanted to “look for some friends.” At the third house she tried, all four of the girls answered the door together. Of course Hallie immediately wanted to go in. The mom came to the door looking miserable and explained that she had strep throat and her husband wasn’t feeling well either, though their daughter was “fine.”

She didn’t invite us in, and of course I wouldn’t have let Hallie go. My immediate thought was, “Why are you letting them all play there if you’re sick?” Followed shortly by, “I bet they’ll all catch it now–better go back into quarantine even if we’re healthy!” But her daughter is a handful and I’m sure having friends over made it easier in some ways.

Regardless of our reasons for not going in, boy was that hard for Hallie to see! Being handed a birthday party invitation only soothed her just a bit. She wailed the whole way home and for a good while in our front yard. “I don’t like it!” she kept declaring. And “That’s just hard for me to see.” Of course my heart was breaking for her. And I’ll admit to a little mother-bear anger at the girls for not including Hallie in everything, even though I know how those situations just evolve and Hallie wasn’t specifically being left out.

I love so many things about our neighborhood. But lately I find myself wishing there were more compatible friends nearby for Hallie (her friend Madison, a few more houses away, is a total sweetie but more than a year younger) and that I had more of substance in common with some of the parents. There are some people in the neighborhood we really like, but it makes such a difference if you’re on the same block or a few streets down. Short of interviewing all neighbors of a house up for sale, I don’t know how you guarantee a perfect dynamic. In fact I know you can’t. I’d just love to see Hallie developing a closer connection with a friend or two. Maybe she’ll find more of that at school when she starts going four days instead fo 3 next year.

If I feel like this now, what’s it going to be like when she hits puberty?!

Hallie’s getting really good (most of the time) about working out sharing issues when she and Travis both want something. Most of the time now she’ll use words or ask me for help rather than grabbing something back, even if he took it from her.

Today, Travis was enamored of the red watering can we just bought, which was supposed to be Hallie’s. He wasn’t at all interested in his blue one. (We got Hallie red stuff and T blue to keep things straight.) Hallie kept trying to get hers back and to trade with him but he wasn’t having any. Suddenly, Hallie announced, “I have an idea! Why don’t I have one blue thing and Travis can have one red thing?!” I told her that was a brilliant solution. She was pleased as punch with herself and T was happy to have the red can.

Later Hallie was clearly thinking about what had happened. “I just had that pop into my head and I came up with that thought!” she announced proudly. What a clever and so very sweet girl!

Despite Tuesday’s messy night, we’ve had a good couple of days. Hallie perked up quickly yesterday and she hasn’t really gotten sick since that morning (one small blip in the night but in my bleary-eyed state I couldn’t tell that she really did anything). We had a low-key day yesterday, and both kids went down for early–and long–naps. Afterwards, we spent a fun rainy afternoon “camping” in the den. We set up the tent and tunnel, packed a picnic tub of plastic stuff, and made a fire out of tissue paper and a box lid. Spatulas made great marshmallow roasters and Hallie was expert with the tongs at taking the fried chicken off the grill.

Mark was traveling, but the three of us had a perfectly smooth evening. I even got them to bed a bit on the early side (all of 8:45 instead of 9). I could hear Hallie singing her numbers in three languages for a while, but she was happy as could be and never popped out of her room. Whatever shift happened a few days ago is still holding, and I like it!

Today was soggy, and we spent it seeking more contributions for Halle’s preschool fundraiser. Thanks to a tip from Aunt Suzie, we ended up at Target to buy some kids’-sized gardening stuff, each piece $1. $20 or so dollars later, we came home with our collection. We got spades and rakes and gloves and kneepads and watering cans and I don’t know what else. Hallie was THRILLED! She just couldn’t wait to try it all out. She especially wanted to fill her watering can up in the rain that was still pouring down.

I finally told her that after lunch she could go out in her rainboots. We got her suited up and out she went. Travis, watching from inside, was not at ALL happy about that. “‘Side! ‘Side!” he kept shouting. I didn’t have good rain clothes for him, but we did our best, and out we all went, T cackling gleefully.

We spent a good 20 or 30 minutes squelching in the mud, filling watering cans from the downspout (which Hallie quickly figured out on her own was faster than the falling rain), and just generally getting wet and dirty. And having a ball. When we were soaked through I finally corralled them inside and straight to the bathtub. Hallie’s last words before her nap were, “And when we wake up, we can do more gardening!” I think more “gardening” is going to wait until tomorrow, but I’m glad she’s so excited about it. And I’m glad she pushed hard enough to get her stodgy mommy out in the rain. I’m sure we’ll be doing that again!

All our finger crossing didn’t work this time. Hallie threw up ALL over her bed a little before midnight. She was a terrific sport and together Mark and I got her and the disaster cleaned up. I told her I’d lie with her for a little bit. And it was a good thing I did. She proceeded to get sick several more times (I lost count after about 5 or 6). But each time she said “trash can!” and we were able to contain things. She finally fell asleep around 3 and I slipped out around 4. It was a long night, and she had a few more bouts this morning (though there’s not much left).

She’s in a great mood now, though, and seems to be feeling better. As we know with T that’s not always a reliable sign. But at least it’s a move in the right direction. We got some Gatorade and popsicles yesterday for T and now they’ve got another use. Mark leaves this afternoon and is gone for 36 hours or so. I hope tonight is a smoother one for the three of us here!

Several weeks ago I noticed that Travis would try to hum along every time the ABC song came on on the sit n spin. He didn’t do this with any other song, just ABC. And he’d even sound like he was saying the first couple of letters.

Now he’s expanded his repetoire to snatches of Old McDonald and more of the Twinkle, Twinkle/ABC/Baa Baa Black Sheep genre. We often cheer for him when we hear him singing. When he woke up from his nap this afternoon, he started in immediately. “Baa baa, baa baa, baa baa baa baa baa. Yay!” “Baa baa, baa baa, baa baa baa baa baa. Yay!” Apparently if there’s no one there to cheer for him, he’s happy to do it himself. I listened to him on the monitor until I couldn’t resist going in. Of course he stopped when I got there, but I know I’ll get another chance.

Even moments after losing his breakfast all over himself in the car this morning he was singing. He whimpered for a minute or two and then launched into some humming and some EIEIOs. What a guy!

The last couple of days have been great in Hallie-dom, and I’ve been thoroughly enjoying them. She’s just been super happy, and we haven’t had any of the storms that seemed to be coming almost daily for a while. A sprinkle or two, but no downpours. She was a super helper during a grocery trip yesterday and walked the whole route rather than demanding space in the rapidly filling cart.

She didn’t nap yesterday, so we spent T’s naptime preparing a plot for our summer garden. She was a hard worker. While her attention span and physical input were limited, after we’d take a drink break she’d always suggest we get back at it. She was fascinated by the creepy crawlies we uncovered, thrilled by the tiny (empty) snail’s shell, and intrigued by the scrap of co-axial cable and the mysterious metal hook we unearthed.

I didn’t have as much time with her today since she had school and she did snooze a little bit (falling asleep moments before Travis woke up singing to himself). But the time we had was very happy. She was very sweet about making sure T was feeling OK. She had a great time at Little Gym. And she asked if she could help me with dinner and then proceeded to make an entire Mexican pizza herself–and then eat her portion with NO complaint!

Our last several bedtimes have been smooth, too. She’s still popped out a couple times but she’s had somewhat legitimate reasons (tonight’s was funny–a lump in her bed from a sock that got left in the clean sheets on Sunday). And she’s gone back in and settled down smoothly.

We had a few blips, like a shrieking competition (in fun but WAY too loud) with Travis in the car this evening that didn’t end when asked several times–we pulled over in Durant Trails for a while–and a semi-whiny request for almost everything she saw in Target yesterday. But overall, I could really get used to this tone of things! She’s just a real sweetie.

Hallie takes after her mommy in more ways than one. This evening she wanted to go upstairs to change out of her leotard after her (very successful and fun) Little Gym class. On the way up, she noticed Mark’s book sitting by the railing. “Shall I take your or Daddy’s book upstairs with me?” she asked as I opened the downstairs gate to let her up. We assured her that that was a very thoughtful thing to do and we really appreciated it.

I went back to the table, where dinner was in progress. Almost immediately Hallie came scampering back into the room. “I just noticed something!” she announced, laughing as she spoke. “I got so distracted by taking the book upstairs that I didn’t even remember to get my clothes!” (Many’s the time she’s seen me do just the same thing.) Still laughing at herself (and us at her for several reasons), she scampered back upstairs and returned a few moments later fully dressed, buttons and all. What a big (and funny) girl!

I went to Smithfield over the weekend to do some outlet shopping. I bought Hallie two pairs of shoes at the Stride Rite outlet. When I gave them to her, I explained very clearly that they were a size too big and that they weren’t for wearing outside the house until the fall.

Immediately she started begging to wear them right away. She changed them back and forth over and over again and clomped all over the house. “Please can I go outside in them?” “WHY aren’t they for wearing now?” “I NEED to be wearing a pair of white shoes with purple butterflies that light up and NOT shoes with pink hearts that light up.”

This went on, with the whining escalating and the threats of putting the shoes away until the fall getting more and more serious. Hallie finally let it go for a while, though she kept wearing the shoes. Then, close to bed time, she was standing in one pair and leaned forward to get something on the couch where I was sitting. “Mommy,” she complained, “these shoes feel uncomfortable when I lean forward in them like this.”

“That’s (pause) because (pause) they (pause) don’t (pause) FIT YOU YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I said, half laughing, half tearing my hair out. I haven’t heard another request to wear them since.

Travis turns 1 and a half today. So hard to believe! Though sometimes I look at him and it’s hard to believe he’s not at least two.

I wish he was having a healthy birthday. He’s had a stomach bug since Friday. After 36 hours with no vomitting, we thought we were out of the woods. But yesterday afternoon he started having soupy diapers and he threw up again this morning.

The advice nurse said this is running 5-7 days, so he should be tailing off. She gave me some tips on what he could and shouldn’t eat, which I’m listing here for myself (in the future) and for anyone else who’s dealing with this now. Sounds like lots of folks are!

No dairy

No red foods (i.e. red grapes, cherries) or liquids–this is so it’s easy to detect blood in the stool or vomit

Salty things, like pretzels and pita chips, are fine

Other good foods are: applesauce (not apple juice), boiled chicken, plain pasta.

Keeping him hydrated is most important, and water doesn’t have the electrolytes he needs and can tend to go right through him. He needs sugar. Suggestions are:

Sweet tea (I assume decaf though she didn’t say)
Gatorade or pedialyte (which some kids don’t like)
Jello (not sugar free)
Jello water
Pear juice
Ice pops
Slushy mix (freeze drink on a flat tray and then scrape it off when frozen)

Things to watch for are a temp over 101, crying with no tears, less urine output, and finding the inside of his mouth sticky instead of moist.

For the most part T’s mood has been great. I think we messed him up by reintroducing dairy too early (yesterday). He kept asking for yogurt at lunch today, but I didn’t give it to him–hard to do! He’s been wanting pita chips and pretzels and ate some banana. He had a great breakfast–too bad it ended up all over him and the car seat. (Which, incidentally, we’ve had to disassemble now twice in as many days. And that is a NIGHTMARE! I completely agreed with Suzie, who said she would almost rather throw the thing out than deal with cleaning it and putting it back together!)

He threw up after we dropped Hallie off this morning. I just sped home instead of trying to clean him up first. He whimpered a few times but by the time we got home he was humming “Old McDonald” to himself while covered in vomit. Kids are amazing.

The worst part about this is that we’re postponing our planned visit to Wesley and his family and Gum and Gup. When I asked the advice nurse, she waffled a bit. Then she said, “As a mom. . .” and paused. I filled in “you wouldn’t want us to come?” And she said “yes.” I know that’s the best response, but it still stinks!

I know kids spend a lot of time asking “why?”, but I didn’t think it started at less than 18 months! In the last week or so, Travis has discovered this word and uses it liberally. I’m not sure he really knows what it means, but he uses it quite appropriately. But it might be his consistent use of “oh” that makes me smile the most.

Here are some recent exchanges:

“Travis, please come out of the refrigerator. We’ll have a yogurt later.” “Why?” “Because I want you to eat the rest of your lunch first.” “Oh.”

“These are going to be your last two stories.” “Why?” “Because then it’s time for your nap.” “Oh.”

“I love you so much, big guy!” “Why?” “Because you’re my guy.” “Oh.”

To steal from Ricky Ricardo, it looks like we’ve got a lot of ‘splaining to do!