Hallie and Travis

We really beat the odds on the whole school assignment process. I found out today of the kids from Fox Road, our base school, who applied to magnet programs, only 13% got in. The odds were even worse for applicants to year round programs–only about 10%. I assume these figures include kids at all grades, which makes the overall odds worse than just for kindergarten. Still, it makes me feel fortunate all over again. I wrote today to ask how many kids applied for how many kindergarten seats at Conn, just out of curiousity.

*****Update
I just learned that 86 students applied for the 40 kindergarten slots at Conn. So, the odds were a bit better from that perspective.

Happy Birthday to jolly Mr. Wesley Swanson. He turns 1 today and we’re all heading to Charlottesville tomorrow to help him celebrate. The kids are really looking forward to some time with their Swanson family. It sounds like Wesley and Uncle David have scoped out all the area playgrounds and even have plans for swimming and/or ice skating. It will be a busy weekend!

We’ll stay in Warrenton for most of next week during spring break and get to see a few of my friends and their kids, too. Should be a fun several days. We’re sure glad Travis got healthy in time for us to make it!

I think Hallie may have done more growing up in the last few weeks than in any other time up until now. It seems like every day she’s a bit more independent and a bit more ready to do things on her own. That’s not to say we don’t have weepy, whiny moments too–maybe more of those than we’d been having. But it makes sense for those all to be connected. She’s expending much more energy during the day, and by dinnertime she’s often pretty fragile.

Much of her growth has been social. As she’s gotten more consistent about not napping we’ve had many more afternoon playdates. She’s old enough now that she and her friends play well on their own and need much less guidance (or interference) from me. The nice weather, the longer days, and the backyard playset have all helped, too.

Most afternoons (when she hasn’t gone home with a friend from school or brought one here), Hallie plays with one or more neigbhorhood friends, most often at our house. Today Briana, Lily, Amelia, and Sammy were all here at some point or another. They play both inside and outside. As long as they are in front (where I can see them from my office window), in back (where it’s fenced), or in the playroom (where I can hear everything), it works fine to let Hallie do her own thing with her friends. I personally like them playing outside best because they are getting exercise and less likely to wake Travis up. I’m actually able to get a few things done!

For the most part we have a great set up. I like being the house the other kids come to. (The big backyard and the playset are key–the playset is one of the best things we ever did.) It helps me hang onto a bit of control and supervision while allowing Hallie a lot more space. Some of the older girls (and one of the younger ones) have a lot of freedom, but I’m not ready to let Hallie play away from home unless it’s at a house where I know family and know there will be some degree of supervision. I haven’t seen Hallie develop a “bosom buddy” in the neighborhood, partly I think because of the age spread (4-9), but the girls on our street are sweet and generally good playmates.

It’s interesting observing the dynamics between all the kids. Sammy and Briana (third and first graders, respectively) are prone to come over, play for a while, and dart off again when something else catches their fancy. This used to be a lot harder on Hallie, but now she takes it more in stride. Hallie and Lily (almost 5) play best together when it’s just the two of them. Lily doesn’t know the other girls as well yet, so when Hallie’s attention is on one of them, Lily starts to come looking to me for entertainment. People always say that someone tends to get lost in a threesome, and I’m watching that happen. Sometimes that one is Hallie and sometimes it’s not.

Hallie’s grown up a lot in her interaction with the older girls. She’ll still get whiny if they are playing a game she can’t compete at at their level yet (keep away, soccer, etc.) But she does less of that now, and she comes to me for help less often. She told me about two incidents yesterday where Sammy and Briana were excluding her or not sharing the swings (one was part of a pretend scenario, so I’m not sure if she was really being excluded or just didn’t like the role they’d assigned her in the game).

Even as Hallie was telling me all of this, I was thinking how much she’d grown by not running to me during the situation. This prompted a good dinnertime talk about how when Hallie has friends over, they are her guests and she needs to share (and so do they). And that if she doesn’t like something they are doing, she needs to tell them so and why. But we also emphasized that she didn’t have to play with them if she didn’t like the way they were playing, whether that’s at our house or anywhere else.

Hallie used to complain about one of her friends from school being “bossy.” It’s ironic, because as I watch Hallie in some of these interactions, she comes off as pretty bossy to me. I don’t think she means to be. But she often talks to her friends the way we talk to her. I missed the beginning of one interaction where I came out to find her reprimanding Tatyana (also almost 5) for something, telling her “Look at me, Tati. Look into my eyes. You aren’t supposed to . . . ” I try not to interfere in too many interactions, but in that one I did call Hallie over to remind her that Tatyana has her own parents and Hallie doesn’t need to play that role. I’m torn about how far to go in talking with her about her approach. I’m guessing that a lot of behaviors will be self-correcting. If her friends don’t like them, they’ll let her know.

This new independence of Hallie’s is making me realize I need to reinforce some concepts that we’ve discussed but now seem more relevant, such as being able to call home, not going anywhere with a stranger, etc. It’s also making me realize the challenges of mediating or advising about situations I haven’t witnessed. I’m so used to sharing all of her experiences outside of her school time (and for most of those I can always ask her teachers), but more and more I’m only going to have her side of the story, and then only when she chooses to share it. She’s growing up so fast–after dinner she wanted us to find words for her to read and only after she managed “scrabble,” “programming,” “colgate” and “whitening,” was I finally able to stump her with “aquaphor,”–that I really often have to remind myself that she’s only four!

After a rough start, Travis had a pretty good day. He hasn’t thrown up since that one time this morning. He was begging for food and drink most of the day and pretty irritated when I would ration it. By dinnertime I was a little more generous, and he answered by cleaning off a plate of noodles, grilled chicken, and mixed vegetables. All that was left was half a smashed lima bean. I hope I don’t come to regret that, but the peds assured me that kids know what they can handle. T’s mood and energy were pretty much back to normal by this evening. When we’ve made it through the next 72 hours I’ll really feel like we’re out of the woods.

With Travis sick and all of us more or less quarantined for chunks of the last two weeks, I’ve gotten much more relaxed about letting the kids watch videos. It’s not like we’ve got any junk–Dan Zanes, Laurie Berkner, an undersea series, and the Muppets are our main selections. And Travis has now gotten over his fear of the TV and will occasionally request a program himself.

I’m still against them parking themselves in front of the tv for long stretches, but I have allowed as many as three a day when desperate. My main concern is that Hallie now starts asking for them at breakfast and whining when I say “no.” (There’s been a LOT of whining from Hallie lately, which I will attribute to our disrupted schedule until I’m proved wrong.) As soon as we’re all healthy, we’re going back to the “once in a while” practice.

I’ve realized something in watching so many episodes of the Muppets. Several things, actually. I have such fond memories of watching the show as a family when I was a kid, and I was sure I’d enjoy it just as much this time around. So, here are my observations:

1. 80% of the gags are geared towards adults and some aren’t even appropriate for kids.
2. A lot of them (at least from the first season) aren’t all that funny.
3. 90% of the material goes right over the heads of Hallie and Travis.
4. Hallie has no clue she’s not understanding most of what she’s seeing, and laughs right along with the laugh track.
5. The kids love it!

The good news is that no one else has gotten sick. The bad news is that Travis still hasn’t gotten well. We thought we were out of the woods when he went from Friday to Sunday morning without throwing up. But Sunday morning brought a messy diaper and another day of throwing up. He’s only gotten sick once today and he’s kept down a lot of banana and graham crackers and pedialyte and even several grapes (for which he’s been begging piteously). I’ve tried to limit his intake, but he’s been wailing for things to eat and drink. He REALLY wants milk, but I’ve held firm on that one. It’s so hard to see him want things that I know I shouldn’t give him!

The conventional wisdom seems to be that this bug can run up to 7 days. We’re on day 5 now, so maybe it’s almost run its course? Lots of people have had the experience that they think it’s over for a day or two or more and then it comes back. Knock on wood, no one I know has had that happen twice.

A few hours shy of a full week, Travis is back at the soupy diapers and the throwing up. I can’t imagine it’s the same thing he had last week. So, we’re back in watch mode for the rest of the family. He had a loose diaper yesterday but he’d eaten salsa by the spoonful the night before, so that was my explanation. I guess that was wishful thinking. We’ll keep our fingers crossed this run is as quick (and as contained!) as last week’s.

Hallie’s now had two soccer classes with her friend Paige. It’s terrific to watch how much fun they have together after not seeing much of each other for a while. They jump up and down and squeal and hug each other on first sight. The problem is that this enthusiasm for each other’s company carries right onto the field.

Last week, Paige’s dad and I watched bemusedly as they happily pranced after their soccer balls–holding hands. It’s easy to guess that at least one of them didn’t follow her ball for long. Some of the time they’d be engaged by the action or the instruction. But we’d also catch them hugging, chatting, or getting to know their classmates (all important socialization skills, to be sure) with joyful disregard for the location of one or all soccer balls in play.

I really don’t want to be one of those parents constantly shouting criticism or directions from the sidelines. But I couldn’t resist one or two shouts of “Hallie and Paige, the balls are over THERE!” We chatted with Hallie a little bit about this afterwards. And frankly, I’m not planning to make a big deal of it. The girls are having fun, and they’re only four, for Pete’s sake. And also, the whole thing is pretty entertaining to watch.

On another note, Mark thinks Hallie is too polite for soccer. He watched several times when she’d pull up short, reluctant to try to take the ball away from another player. “You don’t have to be afraid of taking the ball from someone. That’s what your teacher’s telling you to do,” Mark instructed her at the water break. “Why would I be afraid to do that?” asked a puzzled Hallie. It will be interesting to see how the season evolves.

There are some things that are such pieces of our daily lives that I don’t bother to post about them and I know one day I’ll wish I had. One of them is Travis and his love for music. Now both kids love music. They each have their favorite songs, and their favorite dances to do to them. And they each know songs but a pretty eclectic mix of artists (requests vary from Johnny Cash to Miles Davis to They Might Be Giants to Motown to more standard children’s fare like Dan Zanes and Laurie Berkner). And we sure did listen to enough rounds of the “Gum tape” when Hallie was little.

But Travis seems especially drawn to music. Singing to him has become a regular part of his bedtime routine while that faded long ago, or never really caught on, with Hallie. I don’t have the world’s greatest voice and I did little singing out loud before Hallie arrived. So maybe she warmed me up and T knows I’m more comfortable with it now. Whatever the cause, it’s fun to see his enjoyment of the songs I sing to him.

He has, however, learned how to “play Mommy,” or work the system. He’s always trying new stalling tactics at bedtime. I usually sing to him after he’s had his stories and his lights are out and he’s in bed. I’ll either start in on some favorites (he technically gets 3 songs but usually finagles more) or ask him what he wants to hear. He’s now learned that the longer he takes to make a decision, the longer I stay with him. So the other night, I tossed out a few titles and he wasn’t interested in any of them. Then he started getting crafty. “No, Mommy. I’m thinking of a different song.” “Which song, Travis?” “A DIFFERENT song.” “Do you want ‘Low Bridge?’” “Hmm. No, not that one.” “Do you want the caterpillar song?” “No, I’m thinking of a different song.” “Which song are you thinking of Travis?” “A DIFFERENT song.”

It’s easy to see how this could extend bedtime indefinitely. The same night he started these antics, he called me later sounding pretty upset. When I went in, he cheerfully asked for a book. “Which book do you want?” “Hmm.” “Do you want ‘Goodnight Moon’?” “No, I’m thinking of a different book.” He’s got the technique down, whatever the topic!

Hallie’s teacher, Ms. Gretel, stopped me at pickup the other day to share a story about Hallie. There’s a fairly new student, Paige, who just turned 3 last month. She’s the youngest in the class, and apparently Hallie has taken her under her wing. Without any prompting, Hallie started helping Paige with her snack and making sure she knew how things worked at CHR. Ms. Gretel said Hallie is always looking out for her and really taking the initiative and helping her learn things. I told Ms. Gretel what a wonderful teacher Hallie is to Travis and that, while I was pleased to hear the story about Paige, I wasn’t at all surprised.