Hallie and Travis

Yesterday Hallie and Travis were drawing pictures at the kitchen table after breakfast. Hallie piped up, “Mommy, would you please close the blinds? The sun is shining in Travis’s eyes.” What a sweetie!

Hallie had her 5-year checkup yesterday. I was dreading it a little bit because, with Mark out of town, I had to take Travis and it was right during his naptime. I went in prepared for the worst–I had snacks, drinks, crayons, new toys, cars and trucks, a drawing board, books, you name it. Maybe it’s because I was so well prepared that I didn’t need any of it?
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On Sunday night the Murawskis (Hallie’s friend Suzanna’s family) had us over for a cookout. We had a great time, as usual, with the girls especially enjoying themselves.

Somehow over dinner we got talking about kids’ haircuts and hairstyles. We were talking about bangs and no bangs and how kids sometimes think (as I did) that you get the “no bangs” look by cutting your hair, not by growing it. Marne shared an anecdote about a preschool classmate of Suzanna’s who sheared her own hair so badly she had to get a buzz cut. And I related my memory of taking a chunk out of the back of my own hair–and then denying it, despite the clump of brown hair lying on the end table (my brother was blond)–when I was about the same age.
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Hallie’s always loved words, and it’s been fun watching her relationship with them evolve. She’s created various word games over the last year or two, and we’re deep in the middle of a new one. I’m really not sure how it started, but we have at least one extended episode of “Are you a [[blank]] or a [[blank]]?” every day. The game, usually initiated by Hallie, goes like this. “Are you a ‘syr’ or an ‘up’?” or “Are you a ‘micro’ or a ‘wave’?” And then we pick one of the choices and counter with something new and so on and so on.

She usually picks things she can see or things that relate to something we’re talking about. The funniest ones are the one-syllable words, like “Are you a ‘way’ or a ‘vuh’?” [[wave]] or “Are you a ‘gray’ or a ‘puh’?” [[grape]] I had no idea I could be so many crazy-sounding things in the course of one breakfast!

Our video camera died, and I’m itching to get a new one for several reasons. Foremost is Travis’s latest performance when he’s denied something he wants. He can go from a normal speaking voice to the most piteous wail, with every muscle clenched, in a nanosecond. I don’t like the idea of trying to elicit that response on purpose, but it would be worth it just once to capture it on film.

Somewhere along the line, T also learned “pretty please.” So now he’ll ask for something either minor or out the question (or both), like candy after breakfast, or more grapes when we’ve run out. When I tell him no, he tenses everything, locks his knees, clenches his jaw so we see all his veins, and pleads “Pweease, oh pwitty pweeease!” When he’s still told no, he pulls out all the stops. He’ll inhale an enormous breath and let out a never-ending “Oh, pweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!” as if his very being depended on whatever he wanted.

Such a response has yet to work for him, so I’m guessing it won’t last too much longer. And generally he recovers about as quickly as he worked himself up. It’s definitely a performance worth capturing, though.

Hallie’s in her second week of “Kindercamp” at the Y and she’s really loving it. She went for one week and then had last week off. She said at least once a day last week, “I miss camp!” or “I want to go back to camp!” I’m afraid she’ll be disappointed that she’s only signed up for one more week there at the end of the summer, though she’s got two other camp weeks coming up at Hadley’s preschool.

Hallie’s been coming home singing new songs and telling me about new friends. This week’s theme is “Space,” and she’s excited about being either an astronaut or an alien for tomorrow’s Wacky Wednesday. She was especially tickled that on Monday they played musical chairs–just one day after we happened to describe that game to her. She doesn’t have a perfect grasp on the competitive element of the game. She told me today, “I won the second game of musical chairs!” So I asked, “Does that mean you were the last person to have a chair or the first person not to have one?” “I was the first person not to sit down!” she declared happily. She’s enjoying herself–who am I to bother explaining the rules?

I’ve been missing my time for swimming with both kids out of school. So, I finally decided to give the Y’s day care a try. Travis has already been to see the play area a couple of times, and Hallie and I did a good job talking it up to him in advance. The whole place was also familiar to him from his preschool time. Whatever we did worked. He charged right in and I could barely get him to tell me goodbye. I got in a good swim, and when I went to pick him up I watched for about 5 minutes before he even noticed me. Once he did, he eventually ambled his way over. But he was reluctant to leave and excited about going back tomorrow. Hurray! I don’t want to count my chickens too soon, but I love the idea that he gets some good play time and interaction with other kids while I get to keep up a little exercising.

I’ve been wondering lately when I’ll stop using a baby/toddler voice when I talk to T. It’s not something I do consciously. But lately, I’ve really noticed how I sometimes slip into a different voice when I talk to him. ( I also notice how ridiculous I sometimes sound.) I never use the same voice with Hallie, though I’m sure I used to. I just have no recollection of when I stopped.

I’ve noticed lots of friends doing the same thing. They talk to their older children very differently from their younger ones. I’ve just been wondering when the magic age will come when I don’t do that any more with Travis.

Hallie’s paying the price for Travis’s new sleeping arrangements. Before we moved him into a regular bed, I’d always do his naptime stories with him in my lap in the rocking chair. Now, there’s no room for the rocker in his room and I end up reading to him in bed. Since Hallie’s stories always come second, she gets an already-sleepy Mommy who’s been lying down and cozy for the last 15 minutes.

By the time I climbed into Hallie’s bed yesterday (which was dangerous for me even without the time spent in T’s bed), I barely made it through the first of her three books. I struggled gamely through the second, with frequent “Don’t read in your sleepy voice!” admonishments from Hallie. By the third book, Hallie knew she had to take action.

“Stop right there, Mommy! I know something that will work.” Groggily I watched her scramble out of bed and over to her dresser. She returned with her grapest of grape Chapsticks, which she quickly opened and stuck under my nose. I can’t imagine where she’s ever learned about using smelling salts (probably she hasn’t) but she had the technique down perfectly. For the rest of her storytime, whenever I’d slur a few words she’d wave her potion under my nose. This would make me laugh hard enough to get through at least a few more pages, and we finally finished her books.

Today, she planned ahead and had the Chapstick in hand before I climbed in with her. I’m proud (if a bit surprised) to say she didn’t need to use it once.

Travis has long been a mimic but he’s taking it to a new level now. No more just mimicking sounds or words. He’s getting whole scripts down. Hallie is often his favorite subject, but he’s happy to take on the rest of us, too.

I’ve been working with Hallie for a while on the line between being helpful and being bossy. I’ll often hear my own words coming out of her mouth, directed at Travis. Well, Travis has now turned the tables.

“Hallie, I don’t want to see the inside of your mouth when you’re eating!” he reprimanded her the other day. Or “Hallie, turn the light off when you’re done in there.”

“Bottom in your seat!” he admonished me at dinner last night, climbing out of his chair to physically push me over about an inch. Apparently I wasn’t quite centered at the table.

“Phone manners!” is also heard from him quite frequently. At each of the above violations, no one is more prolific or adept than Travis. But he’s MORE than happy to let you know when you’ve done it wrong.

When Hallie’s upset about something these days, she’ll often hang her head and pout and declare “This is such a tough night for a Hallie!” Or “I just don’t feel like talking today.” Travis has picked up on both her responses and the situations/emotions that cause them. But he’s still got some work to do on the application of what he’s learning.

Hallie was in a state before dinner last night. She’d finally calmed down a bit and Travis was looking for some attention himself. “I don’t feel like talking right now!” he announced. And then he went on, “I’m just not in the mood to talk about things. Hallie, I really don’t feel like talking about things right now because I’m not in the mood and I don’t feel like saying anything to you or to anyone else.” About five minutes later, Travis finally finished up his very cheerful monologue about how he just didn’t feel like talking to anyone. It was a little hard to take him too seriously.

He gave another good example of this disconnect this afternoon. He was pouting because Hallie had gone off to Lily’s house and he wasn’t allowed to go. When things aren’t going her way, Hallie will say, “It’s SUCH a tough day” with lots of emphasis on the “SUCH.” Travis has got the emphasis right but the word wrong. Over and over, in a very effective pout, he declared, “It’s NOT a tough day!” And “Mommy, it’s just NOT a tough day for a Travis.”

When his emotions are sincere, I do my best to stifle my laughter. He’s very attuned to being laughed at, and in some scenarios it’s best for everyone if he doesn’t know how amusing we find him. But that’s the beauty of having a blog!

Though my departure looked a bit iffy on Wednesday, Mark pulled through his bout of the stomach bug and I was able to get to the conference I’ve had on the calendar for months. I’d been looking forward to this chance for some professional interaction–and seeing old colleagues/friends. And it was well worth the trip.

Mark held down the fort beautifully, getting in lots of play time with T and getting Hallie to and from camp, etc. while I spent two days in Pinehurst at meetings related to one of my freelance projects. It was a terrific group of people and I loved reconnecting with them and meeting some new folks. At more than one point I felt like the last 7 years hadn’t ever happened and I was just where I’d been when I worked for NCACDSS.

I got a great welcome when I returned, completed with decorated driveway and smiling kids. We’ve enjoyed our day as a family of four again. And I look forward to a chance to do that again!