Kelly was stressed about the work she had to get done last weekend and so for a few hours I flew solo with the kids, both of whom were beginning to whine after a long day.
As I fixed dinner, Hallie asked if Mommy would be eating, too. I wanted to divert her attention from disturbing Kelly, so I had to think fast.
“She isn’t eating,” I stammered, “because she … gets … fed … though photosynthesis!” I was proud of how I gave it just right touch of a Travis Here’s-Something-You-Didn’t-Know proclamation.
That set Hallie’s eyes to sparkling, her face turning into a grin. The game was on!
The rest of dinner was full of my proclamations, among them:
- I have bicycle brakes that I operate with my third hand, so as not to take my other two hands off the handlebars.
- Salad dessing comes from fruit picked from salad dressing trees.
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I once built a cow train, powered by cows on conveyor belts inside the engine. Most trains used cowcatchers to push cows off the track, but mine captured the cows so they could be put to work.
- Not only do I speak dog language, I act as their translators when they vacation to foreign countries. If a dog doesn’t know Italian, for instance, I’ll translate Italian into English so the dog understands.
- I once ate a gigantic bowl of casserole using a straw up my nose.
- Years ago, I built a radio out of nothing but a blade of grass.
- Way back when, I worked on a special project for the military: a magnetic chair. It was specially built to keep kids’ bottoms from wandering during mealtimes. The kid had to be unlocked it if she wanted to leave the table, but punch in the wrong code and it became an ejection seat.
- I actually invented space.
- Once I ate 25 yogurts in one sitting.
- I like to take salad dressing baths but gave it up when I kept smelling like honey mustard.
- I order my hair in bulk from Costco.
- Once I grew a whole beard from my nose.
- I get my skin-care tips from a crocodile.
- When the doctor told me my knee needed replacing, I had him swap it out for an elbow.
There were two others, something about a desert island and another thing about Mommy and the moon, but I forget the details.
The kids had a blast with my silly proclamations, and so did I. Hallie immediately grabbed her paper and wrote them in a book she called “Daddy’s Crazy Ideas.” I guess I made an impression!
Hallie and Travis had their first sleepover at Grandma and D-Daddy’s last Saturday and they LOVED it! They were so excited during the day Saturday that they gave Mark a headache chanting “D-Daddy and Grandma’s!” over and over again. Read the rest of this entry »
Bedtime with Travis used to be straightforward. (OK, that was after all the long, long months when it wasn’t at all straightforward. But then it finally got there.)
Hallie always liked stories as the final element of her bedtime routine, but Travis liked being sung to. I’d gotten enough practice in my years of singing to and with Hallie at other times that I wasn’t quite as self-conscious as I used to be about my singing voice. Long ago, I had a few favorite songs (“Hush Little Baby,” “Michael Row Your Boat Ashore,” “Low Bridge,”) that I liked and Travis was happy with. Then his repertoire expanded and he’d make specific requests, often sticking with the same song or two or three for weeks at a time. Read the rest of this entry »
I’ve blamed Hallie for several cases of whiplash recently. She’s not nearly the emotional roller coaster (or should I say basket case?) that she was at the beginning of kindergarten. But in recent weeks it seems we’ve been seeing more fits pitched or dramatic, despairing reactions. But many of them have blown out as quickly as they blew in, leaving behind a cheerful balanced girl and a dizzy mommy who doesn’t know what hit her. Read the rest of this entry »
I’m sure if I looked back through the last two years of posts, most of the ones about Travis would be about things he’s said. I can’t help it. The things he says are so darn funny, or imaginative, or both.
One of the things I love is his use of grown-up phrases or speech patterns. Two of his favorite words right now are “actually” (or “well, actually”) and “surely.” His articulation comes out more like “Welllll, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaactually, . . .” and usually prefaces some outlandish explanation or other unique Travisism.
“Surely” seems to be fading from favor a bit but still pops up. It’s usually used when he’s especially enthusiastic about something. “It surely was nice of Gum and Gup to give me this garbage truck!” he’ll announce out of the blue, about a toy he’s had for more than a year. Or, “We surely did have fun spending the night at Grandma and D-Daddy’s house.”
I’m not sure I could accurately list the best days in the last six and a half years (from Hallie’s perspective), but I’d bet good money that yesterday would be in her top ten. It’s rare that I get a chunk of time alone with Hallie, and we both miss that. But yesterday was unusual — a teacher work day for Hallie and school for Travis. So, my girl and I got to spend the “Hallie-day” together. Read the rest of this entry »
Hallie’s added a bit to her sledding poem. Stay tuned for further installments.
Sledding
By Hallie McKenzie Turner
Uh-oh, look out below!
You never know where my sled’s gonna go.
Faster and faster, sled over here.
Ahhh! I just got snow in my right ear!
I see Suzie and look, there’s Will.
Watch out, here I come down the hill.
Pull on the rope and faster I’ll go.
I stick out my feet and . . . whoa!
The kids love it when I come home from work and agree to be pummeled by them. Hallie calls this “rassling,” to which I always tease her that Russell doesn’t live here so why does she always mention his name.
Anyway, there was a new twist on our wrestling game this weekend. The kids invited me up to the playroom to stay in their hotel. Every good hotel needs a name, and even this one did, too. So I coined the name of a hotel most unlikely to be a comfortable stay: “Hotel Latchinscratch.” Patterned after one or two hotels I had the misfortune of visiting during my business travels, at Hotel Latchinscratch you latch the door and immediately start itching. Also, the name sounds vaguely like a European resort.
Read the rest of this entry »
I was up late posting to the blog one evening last week when I heard a cry coming from one of the kids’ rooms. Setting my laptop aside, I walked up to the doors and quickly determined it was Travis. He was whimpering in his sleep, obviously in the midst of a bad dream.
I leaned over and gently patted his shoulder. “Travis, ” I whispered. “Hey buddy, what’s wrong?”
Read the rest of this entry »
Happy Birthday, Mark/Daddy! We hope it’s a great one and the start to another fantastic decade of fun and adventures.
Love,
Your Family
